my names maggie and i'm a huge fucking dweeb
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brel00minati asked: When you get this, post five things you love about yourself. Then send this to ten of your favorite followers :) (don't judge me I'm doing something nice to people for once)

fuck you 

  1.  i love my hair/eyes (i think i’m pretty idk)
  2.  i love the way i dress
  3.  i love that i pulled myself together enough to date a super cute “hipster” boy who i could go on for days about but he’s so wonderful i love you calvin lmao i’m so lame
  4. i love the way i dance
  5. i love my acting skills and they way i present myself on a stage

dirkbot:

things they don’t show you in porn:

  • elbowing each other in the face
  • leg cramps
  • queefing
  • accidentally pulling each other’s hair
  • ass pubes

things they also don’t show in porn:

  • sleepy morning sex
  • mutual giggle fits over awkward situations
  • sex fading into cuddles fading into sex and back into cuddles
  • your lover’s o face

so don’t ever compare yourself to porn thank you

bluezu:

 

addelburgh:

farewell

k1mkardashian:

ariana grande reminds me of the annoying girl at school with mediocre vocals that always gets asked to sing the national anthem or something for school events 

artkirkland:

*non californian voice* omfg there was a huge earthquake are you all okay???
*californian voice* what earthquake

my anaconda dont want none unless you got funds hun

methlabrador:

whats the meaning of life? son, its those little tiny pumpkins. the ones that are mad small.  you know the ones i mean. 

soulpunkpatrock:

i love all of my followers but like

if we’ve been in a mutual since glee fandom you’re my ride till i die forever ok i don’t even care man you are a true saint and a deity among mortals

  • teacher: y r ur eyes red
  • me: allergies
  • teacher: yea ur allergic to that dank ass kush
  • me: hell yea
  • teacher: hell yea
me and bae having sex

  • bae: mmm yeah fuck me baby
  • me: put a quarter in the swear jar

mermandos:

y’all try to find the tiniest reason to not support sj/feminism like “oh wow a troll blog once said eating chinese food is cultural appropriation haha sorry i guess i don’t support trans rights at all anymore”

Beyoncé’s full performance at the 2014 VMA’s

cosmo tip #889

expertcosmotips:

he still likes homestuck? jesus christ. jesus fucking christ. its 2014. not even expertcosmotips is funny anymore. all we have is a fucking elf from runescape with a halo sound clip and screenshots of ctrl+alt+del

MTV: #VOTE5SOS #VOTE5SOS #VOTE5SOS #VOTE5SOS